Pain, pain, pain, and more pain
When will it end?
Having a Soul
I’ve noticed recently that I am very good at helping people out when they’re emotionally distressed. It’s taken me awhile to realize it, but looking back, it seems like I’m the person a lot of my friends go to when they’re in real pain or don’t know what to do.
I have a friend who shall be known only as J for now for his own privacy (also, I noticed that I have an alarming number of people in my life whose names start with the letter J). He’s going through an extremely tough emotional time right now. His best friend that he grew up with and lived with got into some trouble with the law and is now facing time in prison.
Needless to say, J is a wreck. This is his brother, essentially. Now, the thing the guy did wasn’t very smart, but very much justified imo. However, everyone is giving J a hard time for being sad and hurt about this turn of events. It seems I’m the only one helping him through this time. Whenever I finish talking to him, he always seems better and even hopeful that the trial might go his way. That’s when I realized and asked myself;
Wait. Why me?
I consider myself to have a higher degree of empathy for people than most and this is definitely why. I can relate to ppl’s emotions and problems as if they were my own. I mean, would you go to someone who didn’t care about you for consolation?
But then I look around and ask why others aren’t this way. Is it because people that have gone through so much strife and pain can relate better with one another? Does going through so much pain give birth to the Soul?
And on that night, the impossible happened.
I don’t need to change the past cause I can change the future
Sentimentality and Nostalgia
Sometimes I think I’m too sentimental. There are times when I think of things and go, “man, forget that. I have better things to waste my time on”. Then I look at something that brings back memories of said thing, and I find myself smiling fondly and missing it.
For example, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Yu-Gi-Oh! with a burning passion. It’s one of my top 5 favorite things in the world. However, in recent years, I’ve grown to hate it because it’s company has decided to monetize it to the extreme and make it a game that only privileged rich kids can afford to play. For that reason, I’ve stayed away for a little over a year as I simply can’t afford to waste $500.00 on something so trivial as a single card.
But then I go and watch the anime (something that to this day, all 3 series (I haven’t watched 4) are in my favorite anime of all time) and I think back to the fond memories I had playing with my friends or making new friends through. A lot of my happiest memories comes from such a fun social game. It gets me sentimental and makes me want to play again. Then I look at it and realize how much the game has gone to hell and sigh.
Should one just be content with memories and nostalgia? Should knowing that you had such happy times with it be enough? Or do you return and try your hardest to recapture that special thing you cherished regardless of how hard or unreasonable?
